It's Juneteenth, and the start of a new week.
Today, my l love, I meet with the funeral director at the Cremation Society. I also need to start making some solid plans for a service for you.
It's nearly impossible for me to believe, but a little over a week ago we were going out for our first ramen experience. You used chopsticks, quick successfully, for the first time in a long time, and you enjoyed your stir fried chicken ramen. I love how, even in the last days of your life on earth, you were thinking of the future and fun things we could do together, like our trip to Japan.
You insisted I take a before and after picture of your meal, to prove you were there and ate it!
So here you are, at Ichadoo Ramen, about to take your first bite. There were a lot of veggies in there that you didn't eat, but you enjoyed it, overall!
I keep thinking about the meeting with the funeral home, and wondering what you would've wanted. I asked us to talk about it, but you were unwilling to do that, so I guess it's all in my hands. A friend suggested we go to FFG, but that's not where I want to celebrate you. Gaming was an importance piece of you, but it was not, in any way, the whole of you.
I am contemplating continuing our national parks tour, and spreading your ashes along the way, so that you will also be with me. Not sure if that's what I'll do... but there's some beauty in the idea.
I don't want to sign off, but I'm going to. I love you, my dearest, and honestly can't believe that I'm starting the next phase of my life without you by my side. I know it's not what either of us wanted.
All my love. Always.
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